Sunday, January 9, 2011

Three Weeks Isn't Long Enough

Three weeks from the day we buried my Granny, we found out that my Grandma will be passing very soon. Three weeks is NOT a long enough separation between the deaths of two grandparents. My last two grandparents. I'm still struggling with my Granny being gone and now I have to face the fact that my Grandma won't last the month and maybe not the week. It's been really hard for me to deal with. It's harder too in it's seemingly "unfair-ness". Grandma spent Christmas with us. She was happy and talking and laughing and visiting. And now she will be gone soon. Sometimes I just want to yell and cry and then lay in my bed and do nothing. Sometimes I feel like I can't take the sadness of losing her so close to Granny. How can any one person cope with loosing family that close together? Sometimes I don't know if I will be able to cope. Then I remember what I know. I'm not loosing them, I'm just saying see you later. I WILL see both of them again. They will both be with their husbands! They will be happy. Grandma won't be in any pain anymore. She will be whole. They will both be together. They will probably sit down and have a long talk about their shared grandchildren :) It is really a good thing, when I can get my mind to realize it and stop letting my grieving heart take control! But sometimes that grieving heart feels like it's going to rip out of my chest. I don't know how much longer she will be with us, but I hope to be able to visit as much as I can, and talk to her and reminisce with her and help her to be comfortable and happy before she goes. Love you Grandma!!

4 comments:

Aloha said...

Its sooo okay to mourn!! I am amazed by you. Thankyou for your example of faith and endurance in this hard hard hard hard time. Love you so much!!!

Aloha said...

This is mandy btw...in jakes account:D sorry

John and Heidi said...

I love you and I am soooo Sorry that your family to lose both in such a short time. I hope you hanging there.

Hey, where is my blog listing...just kidding. It has been a while since I blog surfed.

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